Fur, fish and other classic kickers: Look East

Today's lunchtime regional news was solid proof that while children and animals may have a reputation for being difficult to work with on film, their adorable physiognomies can make up the cornerstones of respectable programmes if they remain motionless, or even better, are being restrained. Also much in evidence were the programme makers' efforts to create a sense of continuity for the programme with more unspoken programme links and pointless displays of humour than you could crack open an oyster at.

First was a report on a bulldog's attack on four-year old George Brown, whose second encounter with the animal had left him scarred. The team showed him asleep as they reported on dog owner Michael Feehily and his partner Toni Badcock appearing at court. The film of their arrival was somewhat undermined by Ms Badcock waving gleefuflly into the camera as soon as she was near it.

Next we heard of a woman who had recently gone missing. She may, noted the newsreader with flexed eyebrows, have a dog with her. So it can't be all bad.

But... we then hear that even though the dog is being cared for even in absentia, it may not be too safe after all, unless it has already been vaccinated for the sinister parvovirus that is going round. Cue stock(?) footage of cute creatures with floppy ears being pinned unneccesarily to an operating table. Surely this third consecutive animal story is quite enough?

After those mostly sober opening stories, the animal theme was abused further by interviews with east coast crab and lobstercatchers concerned that they would no longer be allowed to trap enough animals under new guidelines limiting catches to older animals.

Then, in the fitting climax that a British weather item should always be, and in the established tradition of putting every obscure town on maps on local news, which towns should be marked today but ‘Codicote’, what I think was ‘Herringston’, and where else but ‘Fishley’?

Who needs human interest?